Oh, How I Love Sax!

By Kenny Love

Copyright © 2008 Kenny Love All Rights Reserved

As a dedicated, devoted, and lifelong musician and recording artist, if you understand nothing else about me, understand this...

Even though I play bass, piano, and trumpet, I still love sax.

I love sax! Previously in denial, I can now admit that, whether healthy or unhealthy, I have a sax addiction, which means it is more than a passing fancy or fetish simplex. In fact, I find it imperative to have sax, practically, every day.

As a musician and/or recording artist, no matter which of the musical instrument(s) a musician likes most and/or plays best, there simply comes a time when you just can't go on any longer without it, and you must find some good sax to relax.

As a teenager with raging hormones, I was once surprisingly discovered by a group of religious fanatics as I was reading a book on sax that also included graphic pictures of sax.

I was accosted by the fanatics, then taken away to a room where they began performing what I now believe was an exorcism on me.

At the time, I was also a Baptist, and since our church never experienced anything similar, I was clueless when they started chanting incoherently in monotone while sprinkling what appeared to be water from small vials.

Managing to break free, I ran away while yelling at the top of my lungs...

"I do not need, nor desire, to be saved from what you call a 'rooting out'!."

Now, my wife? She doesn't like sax nearly as much as I do. And, it seems to me, that she can go months without having sax at all.

I really don't know how she does it. In fact, I don't ever want to know how she does it, because what she has that allows her to do so may just be contagious.

When I remotely think about it, it would seem awfully frustrating to go without sax for extended periods of time.

And, admittedly, being that my wife doesn't like sax as much as I do, unfortunately, I have recently found it necessary to become an adulterer as a result.

Whenever my wife and I can't have sax, yet, I feel a strong urge to have sax, I find myself cruising Jazz nightclubs trying to pick up some sax for the evening.

Now, any sax can be found at practically any time, on street corners, etc., and for a nominal charge or donation. But to find really great sax is the pinnacle of enjoyment for the evening, and is well worth your continued search.

Now, here's some advice for musicians who choose to play around carelessly, over indulging even (and dangerously I might add) with sax more so than others while not taking the proper healthy and safety precautions...

To forego developing any unusual symptoms that may prove to be unhealthy or harmful in the future, such as a permanently deformed, dislocated, or inoperable embouchure, be strongly advised that you must, at all costs, watch not only whom you engage in sax with, but you must also watch how and where you engage in sax.

Note: A six-month health checkup is strongly advised as well.

One of the places where you really don't want to ever get caught having sax is in the city park, as it can be a very embarrassing situation, depending on who you are. It can also be very embarrassing for your family as well.

Because, when spectators discover you having sax, they won't want you to stop. As many of them are already voyeurs anyway, they will ask, no, demand that you keep blowing and tooting your horn. This type of public discovery can, possibly, lead to your making the front cover of the local newspaper.

I, personally, know of a case where the police arrested a couple for having sax in a city park and they were formally charged with indecent exposure. So, forget about having sax in city parks and other such public locations where passersby congregate en masse.

What about you? Do you like sax? I mean, if you have not, yet, had, at least, some sax, you really don't know what you are missing.

Because, sax is very good. Don't let anyone tell you it isn't. When you experience great sax, you can tell because at the end of having great sax, your mouth should be dry and you should be out of breath, but extremely satisfied. And, your toes may even curl up when certain notes are blown during the act.

When musicians have sax, very often, during a point in the performance, their eyes will even roll back in their heads or they will clinch their eyes tightly.

Sax has now become such a conscientious element of our society, that the medical industry has now created a degreed college course of study titled, "Saxology." Webster Dictionary defines the term as "the formal study and resulting practice of sax, generally, with a focus on its cause, addiction, and subsequent treatment."

A physician who practices "Saxology" is referred to as a "saxologist."

While the medical profession, overall, has a great outlook, I personally do not see this career as a promising future vocation, particularly, as many people who are addicted to sax will not readily come forward and seek medical treatment for the condition on their own.

So, for what it is worth, I would not personally advise any graduating high school students to consider this field as a viable college major.

Also, as you can readily see, when one is addicted to sax, one must always be aware and take incredible precautions in the interest of offsetting any would be life-threatening situations.

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